Wednesday, May 26, 2010

My ears are burning

For some reason I was sitting there thinking about all the things people have asked/assumed/thought or perscieved about me and felt the need to clear up the air about my most common mis haps!

*People often think im a real big, intimidating bitch*
This is totally not true and I have no idea how i could possibly be intimidating seeming as how Im only 5'4 and have the face shaped like a carebear haha. Ive had people in the past meeting me for the first time telling me that they've always wanted to come up and say hello but thought I would tell them to get fucked or something! Im no meany, Im actually a very big sweety!
I think people often take my tongue-in-cheek humour as a insult as everything i say is really sarcastic. I was also sadly born without that little voice that says "Think before you speak" and often ask questions and say things that people find rude or offensive. haha i dont think its a bad thing because alot of people who know me expect that from me anyway. But no im no bitch I can honestly say with a smile that im the happiest nicest person you will ever meet and will always have time to meet you.

*My boobs are fake*
NO MY BOOBS ARE NOT FAKE! Give me a jump rope and ill gladly demonstrate this to you!!!

*Im a whiney girlfriend*
Some people have had the most unfortunate encounters with me on specific nights (mostly in town). This is rare but some nights have led to tears, sickness and anger and have led some people to believe im like every other girl out there that cries, tantrums and screams when things dont go her way. The truth is im not like that, Im very relaxed unless people push my wrong buttons. But no one can honestly say that they've never had a bad night in town where your just in the most bitter mood. All i can say is that I am NOT a whiney, demanding, bitchy girlfriend and im sorry if you've ever seen me in a bad mood (you seriously caught on a once in a life time tanty haha)

*Im a follower*
Ive only heard this story through a previous friend of mine who is no longer in my life anymore. But people honestly thought that I was her fucking dog, like i was so far up her ass Id eat dog poo if she told me too! I will say right here right now that I THINK FOR MYSELF! I have my own morals, views, beliefs and personality and i dont expect anyone to try and live up to them (in most cases of course ie:friends, boyfriends, food). People actually avoided me because they thought i was exactly like her which embaressed me beyond belief. The most shocking out of all of these was this conversation

"Hello, I suppose im not allowed to speak to you hey?"
Me: "What? Whys that?"
"Because your friend hates me"

This i have heard from alot of people which actually offends me beyond belief that people think im like that. It doesnt matter if my friends hate you, thats their beef not mine. But if i have no reason to hate you than by all means feel free to come up and say hello. I will not hate someone for a trend and i wont hate someone because my friends do (of course there are exceptions ie:you killed my friends dog, you spat in their burger etc etc). I have my own fucking brain and i like to use it. I AM NO FOLLOWER!!!

*Im stupid*
People think this because i ask questions. Im really not afraid to ask a question if i have no idea what you mean, Im not gonna sit there like an idiot nodding my head when everyword you see is just flying over my head. yeah sometimes i do ask stupid questions but like my teacher told me "You'd rather be dumb for a second than dumb for the rest of your life"

*Im a flirt*
Look just because i hand out hugs and cuddles on a platter does not mean im a flirt or a whore or whatever, I honestly just like to show people that their loved and i like to give people cuddles. It makes me feel happy and i hope it makes them happy too. Im just a happy social person who likes to meet everyone and make them feel special so please dont think im hitting on you. Trust me you'll know if im hitting on you, I get verbal diarrhoea and tell you embarrassing things like "My feet stink" or "Oh man i just got my rags!" seriously im actually speaking from a memory...this did happen!

*I hate girls*
Ok i dont hate alllll girls....just most of them. Seriously, most of the girls i have met are seriously so dumb, lifeless and boring like speaking to a potato. Also most girls i meet look at me like I owe them something or give me the impression like i should be making a big deal over them or like their the coolest person alive because they have heaps of cool tattoos. Look really Im not the one for the celebrity status treatment ok, i dont care how many facebook friends you have, if you've been infront of a camera, in a band, or Axl Rose gave you a dollar once i dont CARE! Your just another face in the crowd to me and ill treat you like i would anyone else i meet for the first time with a nice smile and a "hello". If you are a interesting and nice girl and I can have an awesome conversation with you about music, clothes whatever than thats GREAT! I love meeting fantastic girls! But if you reject it then dont expect any fucking 2nd chances with me, I never forget first impressions bitches!

Ok and i think thats about it :) Ill add more if i think of any. Feel free to ask me any questions as well. Ill be more than happy to clear the air.


Probably just had the biggest life changing experience ever!
Sitting here on my bed trying to kill time with Motorhead, Vixen and Alley Catscratch playing in my stereo I start flicking through some bands ive been meaning to hear more of Crucified Barbara, nashville pussy's and Hysterica. I was reading a interview with the lead singer of Hysterica (which is an awesome swedish metal/rock n roll band) and she said something that struck me...

"It is difficult to find good musicians but it is even harder to find good female musicians. There are not so any girls who are willing to practise or sacrifice as much as necessary".

Ive been wanting to get a guitar for ages but it always seemed to fall off the map but i seriously just freaked out and started going through a frenzie to find my first guitar! Its not gonna be fantastic but i dont care I just wana play! I dont wana stop, I wana play this thing till my fingers bleed. I havent felt this way since i first touched my keyboard. When I bought my very first keyboard I got this amazing feeling! That instant rush where you can see all your dreams flash before your eyes and you feel like you can just grab them. I thrive on the cockiness and pride when you learn something new or you get better at something you've been practicing for so long! You play it and you just feel fantastic!
Everyday I play this keyboard and know Im just getting better and better! I wana do that with a guitar I wana play them both and i dont wana stop.

Lightening has struck. Im getting a FUCKING GUITAR!!!

Cute things from Asian stores

...really complete my life

I bought a new hello kitty mug today and had to stop myself buying a yoshi backpack because i love yoshi way too much.
Being surrounded by metal and cute fluffly things is what im all about! Also ebay and good food hehe.

I also love my rats

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

dont be such a Pheobe

Well Ive been thinking long and hard over these past couple of weeks and I think its finally time i put down the old bottle for a while. My health is rather on the down side and i do believe i have a stomach ulcer :(
Not meaning to say that my whole life is about drinking but its just nice going out and seeing everyone and catchin up all at the same time. Its just easier and i like to dance haha.
Been noticing these past couple of weekends that my drinking behaviour is absolutley shameful!!! Im seriously acting like a 16 year old kid on goon haha. Im slurring, I cant stand straight, suddenly breaking out into cold sweats and then loosing conciousness, throwing up, hang overs THE LOT! And the most HILARIOUS part of all this is....wait for it....this is only after 4 drinks, count em, FOUR drinks! I cant believe it alcohol is hitting me harder than Chris brown hit Rhianna (oh yeah, I went there).
Maybe its my bodies warning sign to say that I shouldnt be ruining my good lifestyle with booze (even though i rarely go out or drink that much for that matter) but everytime i do decide to have a little naughty time this happens. And seriously last weekend was my last straw passing out in the Enigma toilets lying in someone elses piss ISNT the way i wana end a night! It was terrible! And someone farted real bad in there as well and i had to smell that the whole time! haha.

And before you start swinging around your stories let me get one thing straight, I am NO WAY giving up alcohol forever and I am NOT straight edge (if you dont know what that is look it up) I am simply for the time being not drinking. Sure i might have one or two beers if the occasion calls for it but in the mean time no more heavy drinks. Im getting too sick from it and like i said before it is dearly affecting my health.
In a replacement of drinking i have decided to hold theme nights in my bedroom on saturday and friday nights ie: Taco & nacho night, pancake night, sushi night, snitzel pack nights and icecream night (what better way to replace alcohol than with food) and you are alllll welcome to watch movies and eat tacos with me. It would actually make me very happy if people did this with me because then i can show you all my new slippers tehehe.
Thanks for a-readin'

Friday, May 21, 2010

Women I admire

Bettie Page

Mz Ann Thropik

Marta (Bleeding Through)

Joan Jett


Lita Ford

Elizabeth Taylor

Marilyn Monroe

VIXEN ladies!

Monday, May 17, 2010

I donts feel very pretty

Sometimes its just silly to ask "What girls are you into?" cos not matter what you hear the same thing. It saddens me to know that even the closest men i know like skinny blonde prissy bimbos who couldnt have an intelligent conversation even if they tried. Sometimes i think im doomed to being overlooked for the rest of my life because I actually have a fucking personality.

Im probably just having a real ugly girl moment i know but man, I feel so friggen ugly.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Tattoo lazer removal? Looks like it

This isn't a decision ive taken lightly. Its actually something ive been pondering...pretty much the day i came home with a "completed" tattoo. But my mind is made up and Ill do whatever it back tattoo is coming off.

For all of you who have seen my back tattoo know exactly what im talking looks very amature. The moment i came home with it i told everyone "Looks like a 5 year old coloured my tattoo in with crayons!!!" haha.
The colour work is terrible, like a bunch of moosh, theres NO creativeness in my colour work seriously I could have done a better job. For line work id give about 8 out of 10 cos it was actually meant to be an "old school" inspired piece.
It was meant to have bold thick colours but with that faded touch. If anyones seen a sugar skull or anything with that old school style you'd know what im talking about.
But no, i came home with a horrible piece on my back that ive NEVER been happy with. I tried doing that whole "Ahhh learn from your mistakes" but i seriously cant stand having this thing on my skin. Tattoos on a girl are meant to make her look more beautiful but I just feel like Im one of those girls who got a backyard job! haha. But seriously I can think of a million things id want there instead! And im embarressed when people notice and wana take a look, expecially when ive got amazing colour work done by an AMAZING artists on my arm. That teaches me that i shouldnt rush ANY tattoo and i should have gone to an artist i knew and trusted. But a lesson learnt fucking hard and expensively.
So after...2 years of pondering i have decided im getting it lazered off. Im so excited for it cos I no longer have to feel embaressed. And in time when i start working and earning money (haha) Ill put an amazing work of art on my back that i can truely be proud of...probably a hello kitty picture or a Kerropi one haha but at least i can look at it and smile.

Anyway when I have the money the first thing im doing is getting my HIM tattoo something ive wanted since i was 14!!! But Im stuck between designs BAH! Which one??? Im more leaning towards the Razorblade.

Monday, May 10, 2010

The only ship that cant sink is a friendship

Hello everyone!
Sitting in my bed at 11am just after eating toast and my mind started ticking. And i thought...I miss true friends=( Its sad but true that the older you get the harder and harder it is to make friends again. Over the years Ive lost lots of friends and Im an open person so im always trying to make new ones, but it seems these days im only your friend after you've seen the end of 6 vodkas! Now I do like the occasional binge session of Maliu or Jacks but seriously its not my life! I dont need to drink to enjoy peoples company. What ever happened to friends that just came over and watched movies with you? Or go shopping? Or come over with lots of junk food and just talk crap? (Me and Kimmy are amazing at this haha) it seems those days are over and i miss them terribly :(. And to be perfectly honest im sick of making effort with people only to be rejected and ignored. It seems that im the one always doing the chasing and never getting anywhere. Thats something thats been going on for years that im just ARGH really sick of.
Ive always noticed with my 21 years on this earth that people with no personalities get all the friends and the people with personalities are left with no-one. The thing is people with no personalities are easy to mold so they can be whoever you wana be! Hence the reason their always "the best friend ever!". This annoys me alot, i seriously cant be friends with someone who is less interesting to talk to than a blanket.
But putting anger aside my point is that no one can just 'hang out' these days. All i wana do is have coffee dates, sushi trains, op-shopping, chill out and talk about music and clothes and just go on all day adventures.

Saying this, I may only have a few friends. But at least their good interesting people that always put a smile on my face :) I love my true friends.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Madonna is so old

I was just watching "up" and got so overwhelmed with the idea of love. It made me all happy and squishy like when the guy you like holds your hand for the first time or seeing a cute cat yawn in the pet shop. Its not secret, I am absolutely in love with love.

Who wouldnt be? Being with someone or loving something or someone is what make us so happy. It gives us warm fuzzy feelings and stops us from being alone. Im the happiest when i have someone who loves me. Cos i have alot of love to give, im a cuddly person and i talk non stop so its good to have someone there to pretend there listening and pat my head afterwards. I think thats one of my biggest downfalls, im way to sensitive and lovey dovey with everyone. I just wana skip around holding hands all day and cuddling in bed watching movies on a cold night. hehe. But im like that with animals too Sticky gives me so much joy and love that sometimes i cant contain myself and attack her with kisses. You may think "oh shes just a rat" WELL YOU CAN SHUT YOU UGLY FACE! haha. She's mine and so is Jessie (my dog) and they all give me love. I dont ever think i could die alone but knowing the success rate of relationships in my family 0.0% Im probably gonna have to buy a bunch of kitties and hug them and cuddle them all the time. All i want right now is hugs and kisses and sweet little cuddles but no ones here=( But the real point is, I love love and one day ill be all happy totally in love. But for now heres some photos that made me smile

Sunday, May 2, 2010

My bee got rained on.

The city is to vicious and dangerous lately. I dislike the city as two weekends in a row makes me a unhappy chappy. And alcohol makes me sick and i cant drinks anymore. So from now on people should come see me and watch movies and eat nandos with me=)